


Friends Can Suck

by NiamhM101



Category: Big Mouth (Cartoon)
Genre: Pretty sure others are mentioned or are there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 22:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18397820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiamhM101/pseuds/NiamhM101
Summary: *set after My Furry Valentine* Some Jessi and Matthew friendship





	1. Chapter 1

“God, I can’t believe the people I’m friends with,” Jessi groaned. “Not including you, obviously,” she added quickly.

Matthew laughed. “Don’t worry about it, I’m sorry you had to see that anyway.”

“No, don’t be. It’s Valentine’s Day and it’s been a very emotional time.”

Andrew had been kicked out by Lola ten minutes ago, and straight after Jessi decided she should go.

“Well we’ve had a successful non-date, I think,” Matthew said, as they walked further away from the blonde monster’s house and closer to the redhead’s.

“Definitely successful, and thanks for leaving with me.”

“Not a problem, I could tell you didn’t want to be there much longer anyway.”

“It’s just.....that was rough, Andrew’s never acted that way before,” Jessi sighed.

Matthew patted her shoulder. “I know it might be awkward facing him tomorrow, should I scare him off?”

“How exactly would you do that?”

“It mainly involves yelling.”

She laughed. “I might take you up on that, we’ll have to wait and see.”

“Good enough.”

“Okay, this is me. Goodnight, Matthew.”

“Goodnight, Jessi. Thanks for not leaving me alone on Valentine’s Day.”

“Thanks for being my only sane friend.”

“It’s a pleasure and a delight.”

With hugs, goodbyes and promises to walk to school together in the morning Jessi headed inside and Matthew headed home.


	2. Chapter 2

Jessi knew from the second she woke up to the same usual shouts and screams from her mother’s room that she did not want to deal with any more shit from the previous night.

She never expected Matthew of all people to make her feel better, but it had happened and she gained a new friend by the end of the night.

“Hey, can you walk with me to school today? I don’t want to talk to Andrew if I run into him,” she asked over the phone.

“Honey, of course! Just give me about ten minutes, if that’s okay? I can push it to eight but I’ll have to rush off when we get to school to sort out the rest of my morning routine,” Matthew replied.

“Ten minutes is fine, I need breakfast anyway. And to make a call to our landlord about the walls,” she groans.

“Oh, I’m so sorry you had to endure that again. Fuck it I can make it there sooner anyway. See you soon, byeeee!”

“Bye, Mathew.”

Jessi hung up and put her phone into her pocket, with a small sigh of relief.

“You really need some friends right now, don’t you sugar?” Connie asked, following her into the kitchen.

“I do, but Andrew and Lars last night was insane. How can I be friends with someone who does that to a disabled kid?”

“Yeah, that was too much toxicity and jealousy.”

“Exactly. And Missy- I’m sorry, could you help me get the cereal down?”

“Sure, baby.” Connie‘s beautiful long red hair stretched out to grab the box from the top shelf of the cupboard and handed it down to Jessi.

“Thank you, I don’t like seeing my mom in the mornings. It’s too awkward now.”

Connie huffed. “No wonder with Cantor Dina staying over so much.”

Jessi sighed as she got her breakfast sorted. “It’s an endless nightmare. By the way, how’s it going with Nick?”

“It was a rough start, but we’re getting there. He hurt my feelings yesterday and made me cry by a bunch of shitty cards, but came by the party to apologise later.”

“Oh god, that party. How long were you there?”

“I was there long before you showed up, baby girl.”

Jessi sighed as she ate, mind full of all the crazy moments that had happened.

Lola chugging Breakfast Sauce, Devin getting engaged to Devon, Andrew pulling Lars off his wheelchair then Lola pulling his stupid looking hat off his head to show the most awful state of hair anyone had ever seen.

Connie hopped onto the kitchen counter. “What are you going to do?”

“Avoid my bad friends and hang out with the one good friend I have left,” Jessi said simply, if not to convince her hormone monstress then herself.

And speak of that good friend, it was about then that Matthew came strolling in from the back door.

“Morning, Glaser. Hey, Connie,” he said.

“Come on, let’s go before my mom and Dina come downstairs.” Jessi got up from the table without even bothering to move her bag.

“Okay but I’m pretty sure Andrew, Jay and Nick will see us.”

“I’ll be fine if you’ll be.”

He sighed. “Alright, if you’re sure.”

Jessi flashed him a small smile. “Yeah, I am.”


	3. Chapter 3

“So now it’s like in the middle of the night I wake up to go get water and then start hearing the mattress springs,” Jessi groaned.

Matthew sighed, his arm round her shoulders as they walked. “Honey you’re always welcome at my place, my parents will love you.”

“I can’t, that’s too much of you.”

“Nonsense. I’m trying to help out a friend who has to listen to things no one should have to listen to.”

Jessi smiled. “Thanks, I’ll ask if it will make you feel better.”

“Yes! Okay, Tiny and Emotional right ahead with Pervert.”

“Fuck. I’m not talking to them, any chance we can just cross over to the other side of the road?”

Matthew simply nodded and led his redhead friend over.

Jessi had never felt more grateful for having him in her life.

Meanwhile.......

“Andrew, that was some pretty fucked up shit last night. What the hell did you do?” Nick asked.

“I embarrassed myself, my family, my name, and possibly my country,” Andrew answered.

“Big deal, I sent off BOTH Suzette and Brad last night! I may never fuck another pillow again,” Jay said.

“That’s not as big as pulling a disabled kid off a wheelchair!” Nick argued.

“It’s a scam! They can secretly walk!”

“That’s what I said!” Andrew butted in.

“These kids are insane, I like it,” Maury commented.

Connie scoffed. “I don’t know why I thought I could handle a boy.”

“Um, guys?” Nick said suddenly, looking across the road because why the hell was Jessi walking with Matthew.

“What the fuck! My ex girlfriend and the guy I’ve kissed twice- I-eeee, mean ONCE in Smooch Or Share!” Jay exclaimed.

“Oh god, Jessi gave me a death glare last night. This is my fault,” Andrew groaned.

“Of course it’s your fault!” Nick shouted. “You pulled Lars out of his wheelchair!”

“I know, I’m a shitty person!”

“Valentines Day sucks!” Jay added.

“Yeah!” Nick and Andrew agreed.

“We’ve fucked up real bad with these kids,” Maury said.

“That’s what comes with the job, Maurice. Just gotta roll with it,” Connie replied.


	4. Chapter 4

“They looked a bit jealous, if I’m being honest,” Matthew said.

Jessi scoffed as they headed into the school. “Well they shouldn’t have acted like shitty people.”

“I know, I know. Right! I need to do morning announcements and get some interviews done on last night’s disastrous party, will you be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll be nearby anyway, and if I interview you just stay calm.”

Matthew headed off and seconds later the TVs were on.

“Breaking News! Valentine’s Day turned violent as the humper and dumper Andrew Glouberman strikes again!”

Seconds later Jessi saw both Matthew come out into the halls with his phone in hand on camera mode, then Andrew come in to be greeted by booing.

“Andrew! How does it feel to be hated once more for something much worse than humping the blonde monster then dumping her?” Matthew asked instantly.

“It was a mistake, can’t we just get over it?”

“Uh, this is middle school. No one gets over anything.”

Jessi found herself laughing a little bit at the sight.

Matthew turned the camera back round on himself. “Well the pervert is still a pervert and apparently a bully too, so if you ever see him be sure to either scream or attack. Tune in later when I interview the blonde monster who was a witness at the scene.”

“How was that?” he then asked Jessi.

“Amazing as usual,” she replied.

Andrew came striding over. “Jessi, we need to talk.”

“She doesn’t want to speak to you.” Matthew was quick to step between them.

“Andrew, come on, I’m not in the mood to even look at you right now,” Jessi said.

“Why the fuck are you suddenly hanging out with Matthew!?”

She scoffed. “Because he actually cares about me! I haven’t seen you since I told you I had depression.”

“I thought it was just a fancy word for bummed out!”

“Andrew, you ignorant slut,” Matthew muttered under his breath with an eye roll.

“Oh Jessi, you know about slut shaming, don’t you? How about stop acting innocent when you told Devin about Gina?”

“Please don’t do this right now.” Jessi was starting to get upset.

“Okay, you’re taking this a bit too far,” Maury pointed out.

“Seriously, why do people need to keep talking about me!? Your mom cheated on your dad with a woman, you’ve shoplifted, taken drugs!”

Matthew put his arm round Jessi in a protective way.

“And you know what!? You deserve all of it, you fucking.....bitch!”

Connie gasped. “That’s it, I’m gonna kill him.”

Jessi was sobbing, with Matthew by her side as she walked away.

“Too far, man, too far,” Maury said.


	5. Chapter 5

“You screamed at Jessi in the middle of the hallway!?” 

“It was an accident!”

“How!?”

Andrew had just made another tremendous mistake; telling Nick what he had done.

“I was there, it was horrible,” Connie said, with her long nailed hand flying to her head.

“I brought up what happened with Gina, and her mom, and....I might have called a bitch and made her cry,” Andrew admitted.”

“Oh my god,” Nick groaned. “You fucked up.”

“I know, and I feel horrible.”

“You should. That was a fucking dick move,” Maury pointed out.

“Where is she now?” Nick asked.

“Probably crying in the girls’ bathroom by now,” Connie answered.

Andrew sighed. “I don’t know, everyone just formed a crowd with signs that appeared out of nowhere calling me a bullying pervert.”

“Well no wonder, you are a bullying pervert!”

“I know! I suck at being a friend, I’m a shitty ass person.”

“Couldn’t have put it better myself,” Connie and Maury said in unison.

..........

Jessi was indeed in the girls’ bathroom, with Matthew having barricaded the door so no one else could get in.

“It’s alright, honey. I’m not going anywhere, just let it out,” he would say gently, staying by her side as she would cry into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I feel so pathetic right now,” she muttered through her tears.

“Hey, your friends suck, baby. It’s okay to cry,” Connie chipped in.

“You’ve been through a lot of shit, and somehow still manage to get out of bed in the morning. That takes strength and guts most of us don’t have. So basically you’re the strongest and bravest person in the school,” Matthew said.

Jessi sniffled. “That was kind of beautiful, how the fuck did you think to say that?”

“I memorised a lot of comforting things to say a while ago, it seemed like the right thing to say.”

She laughed. “Well, thanks anyway.”

“I’m sorry your friends suck.”

“Don’t be, you’re my friend and you don’t suck.”

“Not in that way, at least.”

“Matthew!”

“I’m sorry, I had to!”


	6. Chapter 6

“Oh my god, we’re so late for class,” Jessi laughed when she and Matthew eventually left the toilets.

“Well if you want we can just....like, not go?”

“Do you mean skip?”

“Yes! I have money, we can go shopping or grab food or do whatever!”

Connie seemed to think this sounded like a good idea. “I know I’ve pushed you to do some bad things before, but believe me when I say you need this, baby girl.”

It didn’t take Jessi much more persuading to run out the front doors of the school with her hormone monstress and only friend that didn’t suck.

Out on the town Matthew and Connie both proved that skipping class was the best thing for Jessi to do.

She was so happy to be out of school, away from bad friends and people staring and teachers nagging.

“I’m so glad you talked me into this,” she said eventually.

“Good, because you needed this,” Matthew replied, quickly putting a shirt back on the shelf of the store they were in.

“Baby, I’ve told you to pick the damn shirt I showed you,” Connie told him.

“And I told you that it makes me look like shit!”

Jessi laughed at the exchange, she knew that Matthew and Connie managing to get along for more than five seconds was about as possible as forgiving Andrew for what was said just hours ago.

..........

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god-“

“Andrew, would you calm down?”

“How do I do that, Nick!? I yelled at Jessi and made her cry, now she’s not at school and neither is Matthew. Maybe she jumped off a bridge in despair and he’s trying to hide her body so he’s not blamed for murder!”

Nick scoffed. “I highly doubt Jessi would do that.”

“But maybe she could? It’s not hard to get a bus ride out of here these days,” Maury suggested.

“You and Jessi share a hormone monstress, right? See if she knows where she is?” Andrew asked.

“I’m not using Connie to help you find Jessi, you’ll come across as being creepy!” Nick argued.

“What else am I supposed to do then, Nick? Huh?”

“I don’t know, but you fucked up. It’s your mistake and you’re gonna fix it yourself.”

“He’s right, you know,” Maury said as Nick left the room.

Andrew sighed. “Yeah, he is.”


	7. Chapter 7

“I can’t tell you exactly where she is right now, but it’s not jumping off a damn bridge,” Connie reassured Nick.

It had taken many minutes of whining, begging, and pleading to get her to say where his redhead friend was but Connie had to follow confidentiality rules when working with two kids at once.

Either way it was a good enough answer.

“So she’s really okay?”

“Yes, sugar plum, she’s fine! Now would you please give me a break before I get a motherfucking migraine!?”

With dramatic groaning, Connie collapsed down onto the bed and sprawled herself out so she covered nearly all of it.

“I’m sorry,” Nick said after a moment, coming over to lie beside her. “I’m sorry, Connie. I’ll stop.”

“You worry too much, baby. If something was really wrong I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“I know, but she just disappeared all of a sudden.”

“Because she needs to be with her new friend for a little while.”

Nick groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

“I’m sorry, honey, but that’s the truth. My Jessi bear needs some time with someone who listens and hasn’t somehow embarrassed themselves.”

“That was just Andrew, I didn’t do anything!”

Connie sighed. “Sugar, girls are very complicated. I know you have me around to give you that female perspective as Duke puts it but to be honest, there’s not much I can say that will make sense.”

“Fair enough. I’ll stop talking now.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

Nick chuckled. “I’m sorry again.”

“It’s okay, I like hanging out with you.”

“Even if I have a big mouth?”

“Yeah, even then.”


	8. Chapter 8

The next day, Jessi once more stayed with Matthew for most of the day.

“If you want to go hang out with someone else you can, I’m not trying to tie you down or anything,” she told him at one point.

“I don’t even have any friends besides you right now, honey. And I love hanging out with you regardless of reason,” he answered.

“God, we sound like a couple.”

“Said everyone in that restaurant.”

She laughed, because even if it wasn’t funny to anyone else to her it was and it felt so good to laugh for once.

“Awe, baby, I love seeing you happy,” Connie beamed.

“You know what? I love it too,” Jessi replied.

At lunch, Nick debated whether or not to go ask for forgiveness about how he had ignored her.

“Well personally I think you have a better chance than Andrew,” Missy had said when he asked for her opinion.

“So I should try to apologise to her?”

“Absolutely.”

Even with that persuasion it took a bit of nerve wracking and thinking the worst before Nick managed to walk on over to where Jessi and Matthew were sitting.

“Mind if I sit here?”

Matthew instantly looked at Jessi, who looked like she was considering it for a second before smiling.

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

Nick placed his tray down on the table and took a seat on the bench.

Connie gave him a nudge. “Apologise.”

He didn’t need to ask what she meant.

“Jessi, I’m really sorry for being such a shitty friend. You didn’t deserve to go through that.”

The redhead nodded. “Thanks, Nick. I do accept and appreciate your apology.”

“Did Matthew make you weirdly formal for this moment?”

She started to laugh. “Yes, I’m sorry. I really wanted to be prepared.”

Matthew snickered. “Well at least you nailed it.”

And Nick did roll his eyes, but smiled too.

Also thanked god and Connie and literally anyone else who helped him sort things out with his friend again.


End file.
